If you would have told the girl in that picture, “Next year, this life will be a memory,” she wouldn’t have believed you. If you would have told her, “There are people here now you’ve hugged as a neighbor for the last time,” she’d have been equally dubious. But that’s what happened. I went away. But this isn’t a story of “before.”
This is a story of everything-ever-after. My first day of work in DC, when I crossed F Street, I wish I had a hat to throw in the air, just to see if it would freeze. I would sing the theme from Alice in the shower. “THERE’S A NEW GIRL IN TOWWWWWWWN, AND SHE’S FEELIN GOOD!” (I did it very Broadway, except I’m not a singer, so it sounded…yeah.) When you leave behind everything, and you have everything ahead of you, you’re emboldened. That carried me for about six months. I had an awesome crib, I was dating an awesome dude, I cut my hair, beginning the path to the awesome fro. It was amazing. My mother described homesickness as “feeling so out of sorts, you just want to sit in a corner with your knees over your shoulders and rock.” It crept up overnight. I was so at odds with everything.
I powered out of that shit. It was hard, and I had to become used to being a woman with two kids AND a need for a social life, but I managed. I fell in love. HARD. I fell halfway out, back in, then out again. There have been days where I felt like I was on top of everything, and days I thought I’d never stop falling. But I’m still here.
And that’s due in part to picking amazing friends; old and new. There is so much love in my life, at times, I can hardly process it. I can’t even begin to tell you how it feels to be overwhelmed by love; some of it from people I didn’t know six months ago. Not everything goes the way I would like, but my life, is charmed as hell. I am blessed, lucky and light.
I’m not saying this because anything earth shattering is going on. I just need the people I’ve embraced into my circle to know that I don’t take them lightly. They are infinitely appreciated. Some of you, my day doesn’t go right if I don’t speak to you. That’s love man. I’m glad I love you. This unfortunately means you’re stuck with me.
Don’t worry though. I pay in gum.