“Don’t know a dream that’s not been shattered…”

"But it's alright, it's alright. I'm just weary to my bones."

“…Or driven to its knees”

You can’t be forever blessed
Still, tomorrow’s gonna be another working day
And I’m trying to get some rest,
That’s all, I’m trying to get some rest.

- Paul Simon “American Tune”

Goals are a bitch.  My financial goals have me sitting in my office chair at this very moment, on the verge of exhausted tears, because I’ve finally finished this project that has kept me here until after 11 every work night for the past almost two weeks.  But the thing about goals is, you either work toward them or you don’t.

There’s always that thing gnawing in the back of your mind, telling you that you’ll never “arrive.”  Additionally, pursuing a goal can also be one of the loneliest things in the world.  Your reasons are always individual to you and you alone.  Even if you are working with someone toward a common goal, your reasons may not be the same, and even if they are, they won’t necessarily appreciate your struggle.  You’ll hear, countless times and from well-meaning people, to take it easy on yourself.  They’ll tell you that you should take it easy on yourself or that “maybe this just isn’t your season/year.”  Bullshit.  Even if your success was predetermined, for it to be significant, you have to plant and harvest.  No easy task

I don’t have answers.  I’m bone tired and just want to snuggle and drink tea, but I finished this.  I may have totally lost out on some vacation this year, but there is a certain joy in sacrifice that I don’t mind.  If I can do this for “the man,” what’s truly stopping me from doing this for myself.  I can finish my book.  I will.  This has been an exercise in tenacity.

If you’re struggling, or low or “the light at the end of the tunnel is a train” (word to Phonte), just remember:  don’t quit.  It might not be better tomorrow or next week, but if you chip away at it, it will be better.  Not perfect.  Not necessarily a cake walk.  But better.  And once you’ve been through the worst, better doesn’t seem so bad.

 

Posted on by BeeJack70128 in The Audacity of Broke 2 Comments

2 Responses to “Don’t know a dream that’s not been shattered…”

  1. Markdub7

    Inspirational post, Mel. But tomorrow is Friday, and I ain’t doing shit. Lol

     
    • Beauty Jackson

      You’re such a flibberty gibbert. Call me. Not for a good time. Just call though.

       

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