Jason Whitlock does not care for a great many things. He doesn’t like Serena Williams or LoLo Jones. He doesn’t like it when black people praise black quarterbacks. He doesn’t like Serena Williams. He doesn’t like Michael Vick. He REALLY doesn’t like Serena Williams, though apparently does not have a complete aversion to big butts* (and he can not lie).
Unfortunately, Mr. Whitlock suffers from the same laziness he accused Serena Williams of almost four years ago. He could be great. He’s talented and on the rare occasions that I like his work, I LOVE it. But rather than putting in the work required to sustain talented writing, he half-asses through writing while relying on hubris and infamy. The very idea of him criticizing Serena Williams’ physical prowess via his gravy stained keyboard disgusts me to the point that I wish I was fluent in Klingon, as no profanity in English would be sufficient.
It’s fair to say that I don’t like Jason Whitlock. This morning’s Deadspin article, awarding Whitlock the first ever Deadspin Good Writering Prize, taught me two things:
- Referring to a human being as a “nascent dwarf planet” is one of the funniest things on earth to me;
- It’s completely fine for you, me, or anyone else to dislike Jason Whitlock, as he likes himself enough for all of us.
Nothing highlights this more perfectly than yesterday’s guest column in Ball State University’s paper, The Daily, where he explains why . If you’re not paying attention, you’ll think that he is calling himself the next Mike Royko. By the time you get to the list of the Ten Best Jason Whitlock Posts Ever, you realize that he is calling Mike Royko the first Jason Whitlock. The true gem in this, Whitlock’s magnum opus, was his nerve to very slyly play the race card. It’s not that there is no validity to his assertion of racial bias in the media; it’s just laughable coming from him. He is a known for systematically taking shots at black athletes and being a racist apologist. By asking, “Is it because I’m black, bro?” just turned him into the gift that keeps on giving.
I admittedly didn’t know anything about Royko before this morning, so I researched him. This 1993 article on the Rodney King beating truly took my breath away. His work had snark, punch and above all, elegance. There’s an effortless elegance in his writing that I can only dream of. Meanwhile, on Planet Whitlock:
Seriously, many black women choose not to exercise because they fear sweating will ruin their recently chemically-treated hair.
It all begins with a healthy perspective on their hair. It’s impossible to convey how obsessed with hair black women can be. It’s not uncommon for a black woman to spend several hundred dollars on a hair makeover and then spend the next several days sleeping upright in bed so as not to mess up her new ‘do.
Those quotes were snatched from his August 3, 2012 article, “The Root of Gabby’s Hair Critics,” an article he listed among his best. Riveting. The facts are, even if broadcast media were eligible for Pulitzer consideration (and with print media dying a painful death, I can’t imagine how much longer it that will remain the case), he wouldn’t qualify. Not because he’s black, but because his work is pedestrian and mean-spirited with flashes of greatness. There’s no award for that. Well…
At least, there wasn’t.
*Try as I might, every possible link to the original article, which I believe sparked my disdain for Whitlock, produced an error. This article had the best collection of quotes. Plus, that picture of him? Capital. Simply capital.