In Green


Somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff.

- Ntozake Shange – For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide/When The Rainbow Is Enuf

Everything was different when I woke up.  The bed, the way the morning light hit my face, the silence – all different.  My voice didn’t even sound the same in my own ears.  Life and its unfamiliarity paralyzed me.  Nothing was where I left it.  Not even my relationships.  I couldn’t even get a gauge on where I was.  While I was at the hell mouth, battling back this demon or that, my stuff was being snatched right from under my nose.

this is a woman’s trip & i need my stuff/
to ooh & ahh abt

Who thought it was okay to take my shit?  I work hard for my shit and I never bother anyone.  Why couldn’t I just walk away for a moment, a week, six months and return to find all my stuff right where I had left it?  I locked the door.  That meant I still considered it mine.  When I stopped breaking down, stopped being laid low and finally reached a shore to which I could tether myself, I’d be back for all of it.  I’d lovingly make sure each thing was in its place, fawn over a lifetime of treasures and reclaim my place.  But somebody decided I didn’t deserve that chance.  They took my stuff, or at the very least moved it to the high shelf, and I’m pissed.

my stuff is the anonymous ripped
off treasure
of the year/ did you know somebody almost got
away with me/

How do you get the nerve to try to take me from myself?  I can get all new stuff. I can adjust.  I can grow.  I don’t mind those things.  But who the hell gave you the right to  force these things?  You, without face, or name or any discernible identity.  You’re only the thief and the mischief-maker, touching what doesn’t belong to you.  What qualifies you to steal from me and leave all this anger where my stuff was?  Did somebody once take your stuff?  Did they leave you in an empty room without explanations or direction?  Did the piss and vinegar fuel your will to figure it out?  Or did you just cry all the time?  Because somebody took my stuff right from under my nose, and I cry all the damn time.

if it’s really my stuff/
ya gotta give it to me/ if ya really want it/ i’m
the only one/ can handle it

And people look at my “anonymous ripped off treasure” and say, “Well maybe it was time for it to go.”  They may be right.  But that doesn’t mean it should have been stolen.  I’m completely capable of putting my stuff away if need be.  Sometimes I even send it to a nice home.  And if I have to throw something out, I’m good at that too.  Your interference was never required, because bitch I does this.  You may have it now, but it was my stuff.  I know they say possession is 9/10 and all that, so you got it.  Good luck handling it.  The thing about me is, I’m going to get more stuff.  I ALWAYS manage to get more stuff.  And if you try to take that, Imma kick you in the ass.

Posted on by BeeJack70128 in Balls 1 Comment

One Response to In Green

  1. Markimus Dubicus

    I hope all if the fleas in Bangladesh crawl up their ass and eats them from the inside out.


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